Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize