Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
