Buhtt sex?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
