We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
