he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
