Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
