I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
