everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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