Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
