If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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