You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
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As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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