My sheets look like a crime scene.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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