i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
