so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
