You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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