we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
