I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
