this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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