How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize