either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
