he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
