If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
