Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
