I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
