Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
