The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
