? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
