so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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