Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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