he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Oh god it's open bar.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
