I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
