I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
