yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
