He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
