on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
