Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
