the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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