yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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