Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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