Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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