I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
