she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize