My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
