I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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