I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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