At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
