So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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