I just cut my nipple shaving
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
