if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
