that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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