as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
