Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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