So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
