I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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