My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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