we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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