So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
